Q: Why? A: You got a better idea? Hendri Coetzee, a South African kayaker, left a damn good answer behind

Some  questions have no answers. Why are we here? What are we supposed to be doing with our time on the big blue 'Quilt? Sometimes I kinda glimpse the answer and then it slips away tantalizingly...

When I was writing for the paper in Digby and Alberton I at least felt like I was using my parcel of god given talents to their max.

Im a real good listener, I have a pretty strong BS radar in that I have to understand things - I have so much imagination, I always ask too many questions - and I enjoy the puzzle of language so much that sitting and struggling with copy til it works and is clear and simple is no chore for me at all.

I wasnt as fast at the writing as I wanted to be, but maybe with just a little more practice...

I always felt though that that was only part of why I am here. There  was also this insatiable wanderlust - this need to explore, to see what is around the next corner. Don't get me wrong: I dont really need to be outside Nova Scotia to feel like Im wandering - there is so much to see there - so many unexplored out-of-the-way little corners there.

On top of it all, and perhaps most important of all, I feel a certain pressure to be the best person I can be - not so much for me and whatever rewards being the best might bring me; but to show people something. Show them what is possible. To entertain them along their way. To make them smile. To lighten their load. I dont know.

I just know I dont want to waste ... waste what? ..opportunities, chances, blessings. I want to do all Im capable of and more.

Why am I writing this? Cause Ive been reading a few of the last blog posts of Hendri Coetzee (wikipedia). The South African kayaker and explorer died in early December this year when a crocodile pulled him from his kayak on the Lukuga River in Congo. (report on Outside.com)

I might never have heard of the guy otherwise but his blog postings offer some interesting insight into why people do stuff like kayak down crocodile infested African rivers. Lots of people might reflexively say it is silly or worse, they might just shrug and figure it was his own business, it doesnt really have anything to do with them.

I take it however as an invitation to think about just what am I doing here. I dont have any desire to be killed by a croc - but there are risks Id take and do take every day.

Start with this small example. I love to run, to move outside - even when the paths are covered in ice and snow, even when I risk a serious fall and sprain or break. Still I go. Cause the risk is worth it.

Crazier: I love to take part in a Polar Bear Swim. Cold shock, hypothermia, all of it worth it. To live. To not hide in shelter somewhere and wish I had pushed myself just a little farther.

I am no extreme athlete. But I fully understand the drive to want to be all you can be. To push the perceived borders of what is possible.

When does standing up and trying cross the line into crazy? For me, the guy who spends all day on the couch saying "Im comfy" - that's the crazy guy.

For this post, Ill let Coetzee have the last word. He wrote a post on his blog in October this year explaining his "why". I recommend the whole post for his great storytelling but here's a quick slice:

My current view on the matter is that the issue of motivation is indeed beyond words or even petty needs. When we surrender to the unknown, faced with the magnitude of the powers that lies ahead, it forces the realization of how insignificant this body is compared to the forces that lie in our path.

Someone recently pointed out to me that our greatest moments are the ones where we lose ourselves. Moments when we become not only more, but become everything. I have breathed in life in its purest form a few second here and there and all I want is more of it.

Amen brother!